I want to fuck you but you live too far away
― My life (via eatpussylivehappy)
8,390 notes
  • Me: tells joke from tumblr as if it was my own
  • Person: laughs
  • Me: I am the worst human being alive
  • Me: I stole that
  • Me: I don't deserve to be in existence
  • Me: I mean Hitler was bad but he told his own jokes
  • Me: I should never speak again
  • 215,507 notes


    the one that got away aka the hot person you saw while you were with your parents

    284,671 notes